2 Gleeps

The Questioniest Question | Podsthumous EP6

Are you afraid of ghosts?
Could you lift an elephant?
What is the worst color ever invented?
No. No. Vantablack. There, I just saved you some time. Now you don't have to listen to the episode. You probably still should, but I just wanted to help you out if you happen to find yourself in a hurry.
 
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Oceans Are Fake | Podsthumous EP5

The band is finally back together. After an extended break, the two hosts are once again under the same roof. Colton is trying to create a metaphor that will permeate modern culture, while Noah is reading about modern culture that has already past (do you see what I did there? You probably thought I used an incorrect spelling of "passed", but I did it on purpose because it was a joke about history). We both have a stop light story, and for the first time ever we decided to actually talk about the Titan submersible. Just remember to never smell a beaver's breath.
 
Have you ever seen Lizard Lick Towing? Tell us about your favorite episode.
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Do you want to donate to help save the Giant Salamanders? We can discuss it if you'd like.
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The Delivery Ploy | Podsthumous EP4

Colton is being a little baby boy and refuses to record with Noah, so the latter is all alone on this one. He's talking about the mailman, and how to deal with him. You are no longer supposed to kill him, there is another plan. Maybe one day the two hosts will stop bickering and podcast like actual adults.
 
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Limp And Horny | Podsthumous EP3

The band is finally back together. After an extended break, the two hosts are once again under the same roof. The only problem is that it's 4 o'clock in the morning. In this one we eplain the premise behind the reality series based on Incredigolf, Mr. Gimp, the first ever episode of the podcast, furries, selling time capsule pills, Medieval education, killing babies, Colton's "hobby", the Titan submersible, eating babies, a brand new band, and a lot of Tom Hanks. Also, have we ever talked about how much we dislike the Mayo Clinic? Well we finally get around to it in this one.
 
Who is your favorite Pixar Character? Mine is Edna Mode.
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Would you eat a baby?
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Don't smoke weed, or this will be you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rh8GbPnoqCI
 

The Fourth Right | Podsthumous EP2

Colton is alone in this one. He is using this time to try to convert you to his way of thinking, telling you the truth behind Germany, and demanding reparations all at the same time. I'm honestly not sure where Noah went.
 
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Mediocre Cannon | Podsthumous EP1

This is a posthumous pod, and it's all about reviews. Just because we start with the lakes doesn't mean the big hole is saved from scrutiny. It becomes apparent that the five great lakes are feuding over which is the best, and people at the Grand Canyon are getting their trousers stolen by a pantless German man. There isn't really much more to put in this description...that's kind of the whole episode.
 
Do you know the German man that stole our pants? Please email us if you do, they were expensive.
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Have you ever sat in a heated lake before? I have. Let me know if you want the deets
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He Blew It Side C

How can there be a Side C on a tape? Really? That's what you are thinking about right now? This is Colton here, and I just posted the audio that I was only supposed to post when Noah dies. I personally would think that is a little more pressing and concerning. Let me tell you my reasoning. We recorded a few episodes in advance because we were going on a road trip through the beautiful and astounding Great Plains. There the prairie lay, uniform and unvarying, spanning, unbroken, to the ends of the horizon. Staring at it, let me tell you, those flat lines almost made me flat line... Anyway, I worked diligently to make sure everything was done in a timely manner so the audience didn't have to suffer. I had just posted the most recent episode, and not even 3 hours later, Noah died. I'll be honest, it was obvious that the Multiple Sclerosis was going to be the one to kill him, I just didn't expect it to happen like it did. I don't want to beat around the bush, so I will just come out and tell you how exactly my co-host met his end. As we were nearing the end of our trip, many memorable things had happened, but it's all overshadowed by the memory of the last time I saw him. You see, towards the end, we found ourselves in Colorado. We made our way to the top of the Rocky Mountains. (The highest part where tourists are allowed to go by car.) He just wanted to get a slightly better view of the range, so he climbed over the safety guard rail. Noah didn't even go out more than 10 feet (about 3 meters), when he stepped on a loose pile of rocks. Really in most cases it would have been no big deal, but in this one instance...by complete coincidence...his leg muscles stiffened, and he wasn't able to balance himself before falling. He immediately fell back and cracked his skull on the ground. Without hesitation, I went to go help my friend. Forgoing all safety, I jumped over the rail. It wasn't too late. The damage seemed minimal. He must've been in a lot of pain, but he was still alive. After all, people have fallen from much higher and lived, and all he did was trip. I guess my point is that I'm kind of a hero or whatever. Just keep that in mind when I tell you what happened next... When I jumped the rail to help him, I tripped on his loose boot strap, and while trying to keep myself from falling...I accidentally nudged his body with my foot...sending him plummeting down the cliff. It was a really steep cliff.
 
So I guess the moral of the story is, "don't help people because you are only going to make things worse". Also, I reached out to Noah's twin brother, and he has agreed to host the podcast with me going forward. We talked about it and have decided that in order to avoid some sort of awkward transition period while The Orient gets used to a new host, he is just going to do the podcast in character as his brother. Don't worry, no one knows Noah better than his own twin brother, and he is extremely familiar with the podcast and our style of humor. You probably won't even notice the difference, since Noah told him everything (pretty much up to 6 minutes before the death). Noah would've wanted it this way...probably. But who really cares what Noah would've wanted, it's my podcast now...well, and his brother's I guess.
 
If you want to send your condolences, you can send them here. It would really mean a lot to both hosts.
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If you think cassette tapes should have 3 sides, express that to me here:
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Papa Nazi Side B

Welcome to the second recorded and third posted of the heat episodes. Colton was late, probably because he was too busy growing poison ivy. Noah is trying to enter a medically induced coma without the help of medicine, and old people are getting blown away...literally. We also discuss the plans for the podcast after Noah's death, ask the audience a trivia question (answer listed below), and reveal the truth behind the podcast that the victims were too embarrassed to admit, in this episode that quite frankly is a return to man. Also, did you know Colton doesn't listen to music?
 
sǝpᴉS 9 :ɹƎMSN∀
 
Why do babies die?
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Would you like to buy some histamines from me?
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The Call Forward

In this bonus episode we answer pretty close to like one hundred questions or something. We are coming off a heat high, from recording the last episode, and that's What is the greatest risk you have ever taken?Have you ever thought of what your future baby will be named?What are those things you are to old to do but still enjoy?What are your pet peeves?Who is the messiest person you've ever known?Which of the two smells better, grass or bread?Who is your all time favorite Disney character?
 
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Christmas In Ukraine Side A

This is a heat episode...but it's only half of a heat episode...but it's actually a full episode though. We talk about Colton's Thanksgiving in 2006 and Noah's realization about cigarettes.
 
Do cigarettes do anything for you? Tell us how to make it work properly.
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Would you have the audacity to die multiple hours away from your family? Tell us why you would do something so atrocious.
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